so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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