After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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