I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
