I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
