Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
