Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Randomize
