Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I can text with my tongue
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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