I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
