I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize