Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.