Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming