She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
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theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
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Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.