I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just want to make out with him forever
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.