That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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