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• (586): View more from Michigan

  There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.

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• (315): View more from New York

  mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.

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• (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  "Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.

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