I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Randomize
