dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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