Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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