Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
