and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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