Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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