I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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