My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
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