I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
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My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Also, beer. Big fan.
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Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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