OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize