; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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