I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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