one two three fourrrrnication!
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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