I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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