Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
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