Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Randomize
