so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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