I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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