my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
