is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
