I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
The convent might be a nice break from real life
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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