Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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