Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize