Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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