okay pat passed out under dana's car
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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