if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Randomize
