he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
