I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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