We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
