Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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