Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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