I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
