He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
