this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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