New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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