My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
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