it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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