See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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