I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
