i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
