She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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