I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
