she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize