so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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