Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
