You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
