he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
